My Blog

Days are passing by so quick. Before you know it, it will be Christmas, then the New Year, then my birthday (>Ack! I’ll soon be 24!!!). What should I be at this stage? Am I in the right track? Should I be somewhere else? Are these people the right people to be with? Do I have to re-think my chosen career?
So many questions, not so many answers and so little time. My life, though not as gloomy as before, is becoming lethargic. DFA is unlike BSP (where I just log files in my computer, eat & shop at rustan’s in harrison>hehe) but even the substantive work does not make me feel any better. Money is no issue because I’m used to a stumpy income (and I have my family to thank for *winks). It’s just that I’m not a fan of delayed-gratifications. I work now and I want the result not in an instant but definitely not in 5 years or so! I love working for the government but maybe just because of the people I work with :(. These people are inspiring because they have the patience to stay and serve. Sometimes I feel terrible thinking of quitting but perhaps this is NOT FOR ME.

Mang and I have realized that we share the same problem (>haha not so surprising). You see, Mang has been working for court of justice. Like me, she felt that life in the government is too slow for her. Mang could not see herself growing old and working as a public official. She looks at her old officemates and cringes at the idea (we’re really cousins!). We both want change but what change? There’s no certainty if we break free from our present careers. I know I want to work with kids but where will I go? I know Mang wants to be her own boss but where will she begin?

Changing paths is not easy. There are a lot of things and a lot of people to consider. Our parents are a big factor to consider. We haven’t told them yet because surely they would be a little disappointed. But what can we do if the jobs we have do not make us happy anymore? What will I do?

Psalm 139:23-24
Look deep into my Heart,God
and find out everything
I am thinking.
Don’t let me follow evil ways,
but lead me in the way
that time has proven true.

(Reposted from my blogspot> Friday, September 7, 2007)

xtra: i’ve already told my ‘rents…;(

My sister and I have been talking and we chanced upon the topic of being SingLe. I’m at this point in my life and still no partner in sight (>sob!-wink)! I have never worried about it until lately that I found myself as one of the few partnerless or the only dateless in the bundle.

Ellaine confessed that she sees me in her Dean. Dean is in her forties. Smart, sassy, pretty, stylish, succesful (>no wonder my sister compared me to Dean-she is so like me-hehe) and (>tadah!) single. I was not hurt by what Ellaine’s getting at. Though it is my dream to have a family someday (>a partner and a bunch of kiddos), I am so ready if that would not be granted.

Miday and I have talked about it too because we are two of the few left in Xaijua with a cricket-sounding love life (>haha!). She asked me if I have been praying for it and I realized that maybe I should. Middy is a born again christian and has been praying for her man eversince. I, on the other hand, have just graduated from my CLP. I don’t always remember to include it in my prayers but when I do, I tell God "Please grant me a partner who will love me and who I will love back. God, let him be someone who shares the same principles and dreams that I have. Please let him be a responsible person…May God blessed me with the One but as of now, I am content. Whatever plans He has for me, I am ready to take.

I am single but that does not mean I’m alone. I am single but that does not mean I’m sad. I maybe even happier than those with partners (>with a slight touch of bitterness-kidding!).

>reposted from my blogspot (Sunday, September 2, 2007)